Battling the 1st trimester

Everybody knows that pregnancy can be difficult. But then, nobody will ever understand until she herself were to be pregnant. If that person were to be a guy, then he will never truly understand.

It has been a wild ride. Never have I taken so many MCs in my whole life. I called in sick every 2-3 weeks, and came late for work almost everyday. Thanks to my morning sickness.

Personally, I feel morning sickness is a misnomer. I didn't feel sick only the mornings, but it was ALL THE TIME. Of course, morning would be the worst time, but there were also occasions

where I would be puking the afternoon, night and even at 3am in the morning. That was hell.

Doing morning rounds everyday was a pain. I sat down whenever I had the chance, and constantly had to pop sweets/asam when the houseman was presenting the cases to me. At 10am, I had to take a break and grab a snack, coz otherwise, I would be puking the next few hours.

I dreaded my calls. As I had to be on my feet most of the time, and stay up till the wee hours of the morning, I would feel sick and find it so difficult to make decisions, especially in the middle of the night. Housemen who felt sorry for me for buy me food and ensure that I rest in between..

Hence, the two top complaints that I had was Nausea and Fatigue.

So how did I face all these challenges?

By taking Antacids 3-4 times a day, took snacks even when I wasn't really hungry, and lie down whenever I had the free time. It was bad coz I'd be so busy at work, but I was lucky to have collegues and bosses who understood and were supportive throughout my sickness.

And of course, what really helped me to pull through was to think about my baby and having a supportive husband..

Mr Belkin54g, pls dont off your modem!

I've made an important discovery.

By sitting in my living room, the signal strength from my stolen network is 'Very Good'.

Hello, internet!

Lalalalala...

The Secret

I've been keeping this news to myself for quite some time, as I just couldn't find the right time to tell the whole world about it. Well, it's not really a secret to my colleagues and some of my close friends, but it is indeed something which I have not shared to most people out there.

The entry below was something that I have written manually in my notebook some time ago, but I did not have the courage to post it in this blog. Tonight, I suddenly feel the urge of putting this entry to this blog. So here it goes...

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At the time of writing, I'm excited about the good news, but too nervous to tell the whole world about it.

Yes, I am pregnant.

I've been having irregular menses since the wedding, probably stress related due to work or from the adjustments that I have to make post wedding. Hence, delay in menses was not something new to me. I've used up numerous UPT sets provided by my mum right after the wedding, in which it will come back as negative each time. This time around, somewhere in early September, my menses was delayed for 2 weeks and I decided to do a UPT. It was Negative, Again.

I did not experience any pregnancy symptoms after that, but since I remained amenorrheic,
Mum decided to jump straight to an ultrasound scan, skipping the whole UPT part-as i just could not bear another negative result.

You see, I have a retroverted uterus and it was a difficult ultrasound scan to perform. Mum had to press my abdomen really hard to look for the gestational sac. Then suddenly, she found it. One TINY sac in my uterus. I proceeded with the confirmation test and for the first time in my life, I had a positive UPT. I just couldn't believe my eyes when I saw that 2 lines on the stick.

How was the feeling you may ask?

I was still in denial at that time, and a positive UPT with a small 'gestational sac' was not convincing enough for me to accept that I was indeed pregnant. I needed something more convincing, like seeing my baby's heartbeat. Heck, I have seen too many patients that had a false positive UPT and they were excited for nothing, and which later they found out that the UPT was just too sensitive and repeated ultrasound scans showed an empty uterus.

However, Mum was really excited coz it was her birthday and treated the finding as her birthday present. We then had a dinner celebration that night--to celebrate the future addition to our family, Mum's birthday and my brother's belated birthday.

The only few people that I told on that day was my dad and siblings. And that was more than enough for me.

Finally!

I'm at D' Kayangan now and I'm online!

Even though my workplace has internet access, certain websites such as facebook, blogspot, friendster, twitter and internet banking websites are inaccessible. I do subscribe to maxis broadband, but I haven't been paying the monthly fees as I can't access the maybank2u website from the hospital, hence, my internet has been cut off...

This was what happened..

As my husband and I are planning to go on a trip next month, I desperately needed to go online to hunt for an interesting and affordable destination that we could go to. Trying my luck, I turned on my laptop and suddenly.....my laptop could locate a nearby wireless connection.! That's not the best part, no password was required!
So thank you, Belkin54g!

Even though the internet speed is not that fast but having to surf comfortably on my couch, I feel truly blessed!

I'm on You Tube!

I was at the medical outpatient clinic the other day when one the ECHO guys approached me and asked,

'You ni kaki internet ke?'

I was stunned with that random question. Thought that he had found something humiliating about me online. I was also curious to know what it was. And so I asked,

'Not really...dulu ye la. Asal?'

Then he lead me to the ECHO room where his laptop was already online. And then he showed me the video. I was Shocked! Hahaha...I'm actually on You Tube.

Of course, the next question that I asked him was

'Camne bleh jumpe nih?'

'Senang je. Saya type nama doctor, pastu video tu keluar la'

The subsequent question that ran into my head was 'Yang awak pegi type name saya tu kenapa?'. But of course, I did not ask him that.


Anyway, this is the video. Check it out.

Click here.

A short Hi from me

I haven't posted an entry in ages.

Reason being:

1. I'm spending too much time with the computer during the day which makes me think twice before sitting in front of the computer again at home.
2. I would rather watch TV rather than surf the net nowadays.---such a change compared to before.
(yes, I know multitasking is possible, but I prefer to be as passive as possible when I'm at home.)


Some updates about me:
1.I just went for a haircut yesterday. More like a trim actually. Nobody even noticed today.

2.Husband is leaving to Sudan tomorrow, which means I'll be alone for a week..sigh.

3. I'm going to be in charge of the H1N1 ward starting from next week. It's gonna be high risk, but an interesting experience for me. :)
,
4. I'm back to baking!


**can't seem to upload pictures this entry..will do it the next time I go online.
As for now, I need to get a good rest before a super long day tomorrow.
The HOD will be doing ward rounds tomorrow. and I will be the only MO there in the ward. Yikes!

My Firsts

I was more excited than ever when my birthday was coming up, as it will be the first time I'm celebrating it as someone's wife.

I planned ahead and planted the idea to my husband's head --for us to have a vacation together on the eve of my birthday. I didn't really care about the location of our holiday, after all, the important thing is for us to spend some quality time together. And plus, now is bad time to travel abroad anyway, with the H1N1 spreading like wild fire at the moment.

And so, off we went to Port Dickson on 22.6.09. I'm sure many of you won't believe when I tell this, but it was the first time at I ever traveled out the state with him, and also the first time that we go off on a holiday together. Seriously. not even as a group. That was why the vacation trip meant so much to me.

We arrived at Legend Resort that afternoon and immediately after we checked in, after 5 minutes of looking around the room and the view, the husband insisted that we switched hotels. He was commenting about every single thing-from the flooring, the walls, the finishings, right up to the pilings outside the water chalet. Sigh. I guess this is what I get when I marry someone with ID interest.

And so we called up Avilion, and luckily they had a room to spare for the following day. It was a great move as Avilion was waay better than Legend. Husband was literally jumping on the bed when we arrived there.




What else did we do in PD?

Many other firsts: took a dip in the pool, ate durian by the roadside and played pool together.

All in all it was the best trip ever.


Owh ya, and that's not all.

On the way back, we dropped by at my mum's place and a huge bouquet of flowers greeted me there. What a lovely surprise from the husband and his staff!



We then headed home and had our first sleep on the new mattress--a gift from my mum. As how my husband said it --'It feels like heaven'.

That night, I had my birthday dinner at the Revolving Restaurant, KL tower. U see, my husband has been wanting to bring me there for years, and we finally had the chance to go there on my birthday. Also, another first for us. It had a nice ambiance, with the KL night view mesmerising us. And to top it all, the restaurant staff surprised me with a birthday cake!





It was the best birthday celebration ever. Hands down.

Thank you dear husband.

*Jumping Up and Down*

I have been procrastinating to update this blog-despite being repeatedly pestered by friends and sisters..:)

I couldn't help myself to make this post as this great news deserves a shout out!

I PASSED MY EXAM!!

Despite having to make numerous adjustments: having new roles: being a wife and daughter-in-law, adapting to a new working environment and being in the super, crazy, busy Medical Department, I finally made it!

Thank you everyone for your prayers and support.

Hope I will achieve my ultimate goal-to be Paediatrician before I reach 30.



I truly feel blessed.

First official wedding photos

There are so many things for me to share, but I'm sure many of you out there are keen to see some the official wedding photos.

You see, for the solemnisation ceremony, my family and I decided to spend a bomb on photography as it is considered the best investment for a wedding. After many years, wedding photos will be the ones that will help to bring back those lovely memories. Hence, we decided to use Saiful Nang as our official photographer. Yup, SN himself.

To my surprise, the groom's side also brought along their own official photographer when they came over to the house on that day. Hence, in total, we had 3 photographers (2 from CS, and 1 from pixelart) and 2 videographers (f rom Manggis).

We received both CDs, one from CS and the other one from pixelart , containing our raw wedding photos on 20th march. Fast right?

I have yet to email back Candid Syndrome--need to choose the appropriate photos for them to edit and put into the 2 photobooks.

As for Pixelart, they are just so efficient! We received the photo album on the 28th, and we were very impressed indeed! Just love the photos and the album itself.

Check out their blog at Pixelart Photography


Enjoy~

From the heart of a bride

I've been wanting to update my blog since the wedding..There is just so much to share and I'm currently having the best time of my life..

If you have watched the movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button..remember the part when Brad Pitt met up with Cate Blanchett after he left her for quite some, and at that time both of them were almost the same age..The two lovebirds were just spending every minute of their time together, laughing and joking with each other...I really love that scene, as both of them appeared to be crazy with each other. That is exactly what I'm feeling at this moment.




I just can't find the words to explain how extremely happy both of us are. To those who know the journey that both of us have gone through, you would most likely understand how we feel. To finally be together with the one person that you love the most, it is indeed at beautiful experience..

For the past one week, I try my best to treasure every single detail of my experiences. I told my other half before falling asleep one night--that I'm so worried that this wonderful feeling will go away. He told me not to worry and assured me the feeling that I have will stay..

We often ask each other every day---macam tak percaya kita dah kahwin, kan?

It's amazing that even though I've known my other half for ten years, little that I realise that I could still love him more and more. Seeing him bond with my family members and him being so understanding with everything, it does make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Here's my favourite photo---taken from terteaforsea.blogspot.com



I thank Allah everyday for granting my wish..to finally marry my one and only true love..

Another 3 days to go..

I'm beginning to feel the wedding jitters as the big day is approaching..

Regarding the wedding invitations..the wedding is just around the corner and some of the wedding invitation are not even sent yet! A friend of mine who is staying in Gemas smsed me today and said 'Aku kan tinggal area kampung, don't think that your card will reach in time..'
Another issue is that some of my friends who mean a lot to me are unable to attend the wedding..the ones that I'm close to..It's sad when I think about it, but I guess that is one of the things that I've to deal with..

The funny thing is that I'm selectively choosing friends to invite for the nikah when there are so many nikah invitation cards to spare, and there are tonnes of friends that I'm inviting for the reception -with limited invitation cards for the reception. You see, since mum almost fully handmade the invitation cards for the reception, she managed to make only 250, and I used up all of them today! Both mum and I are anxious at the moment--it is either we didn't make enough invitation cards or we invited too many people... I just hope that mum's house can take the crowd..

As for tomorrow, I'll be my last day at work and I'm off for my holiday! Yippee!

Vital things to do 2 days before the wedding:
1. get my hair done--touch up my hair colour---which should have been done last week
2. manicure
3. body scrub
4. try wearing the wedding gown with the jewelery
5. sms all my friends to remind them about the wedding
6. get enough sleep!

For the past few days, everytime before I fall asleep, I will think to myself--Owh man, I can't believe my status is going to change soon..No more feeling proud that I'm still single. Gosh. It has finally hit me.

More updates

It does feel funny to post an entry on this blog after so long...

Someone called me the other day (you know who you are), asking me why I haven't updated my blog in ages. Reason being I have in a depressive mode since I switched my workplace, and if I do update my blog, it will be in a low tone..which I truly want to avoid. Another reason is that, since I face the computer every single time at work, the last thing I want to do when I am at home is to stare at the computer screen.

Nevertheless, I think I am beginning to adapt and accept my new working environment and I my mood has improved, not tremendously, but at least, significantly..

Enough about work.

Some updates about the wedding:

NIKAH:

1. The dress is ready, which I absolutely love..Only the veil needs more beading work to do..

2. Wedding planner-booked

3. Caterer-booked

4. Invitation cards-printed but not sent out yet. It's just a simple card, but just nice for nikah..I need to decide who gets invited to the nikah. I asked dad how many friends I'm allowed to invite, and he said it's up to me..hai, nanti kalau ajak semua member susah pulak.

According to dad, ALL the relatives that he's inviting are coming. Even the ones from Kelantan and Thailand. I'm happy to know that many people are coming to join in the celebration of my special day..

5. Cameraman-booked and deposit paid.

6. Videographer-booked and Manggis is supposed to email me their quotation..which they have not done up to now..

7. Paperwork-All has been filled up, and PPN has signed the forms. Just need to send the completed forms to JAIS soon..hantar wakil pon boleh kan?

8. Bilik pengantin-built-in wardrobe is ongoing right at this moment..The decorations will be done by the wedding planner.

9. Wedding favours-the sample is ready, which is absolutely gorgeous..The rest of it should be ready by the end of the month..

10. Hantaran-I'm so lucky coz dad bought everything for me..The ring, gifts, etc are all ready. Just need to pass them to the wedding planner for him to decorate..

11. Make-up artist-booked

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RECEPTION:

1. Dress-the dress is ready, just the beading which still needs to be done. I hope I'll be ready by the 14th..

2. Wedding planner-booked

3. Caterer-booked--we had the food tasting on Friday, which was delicious! I brought some to Azim's office yesterday and he loved it too! His friend tried some and said-'Rase macam makan kat hotel je!' Wahhh.bangga.:)

4. Invitation cards-We're getting the inlay printed and mom is going to do the outer part by hand. I told her not to trouble herself but she insisted..I'm sure I'll turn out to be lovely..

5. Cameraman-Booked-This was the first few things that we did.

6. Videographer-We're using the same videographer as the nikah, so I'm still waiting for the quotation..

7. Bilik pengantin-Mom has bought a new bedsheet-just a plain one but with floral motives on it..very nice. The wedding planner will do the rest.

8. Wedding favours-Still on the way..Mom is getting different sets of wedding favours for different categories of people---i.e. according to age group. She's buying more next week.

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That's it for now. I won't disclose too much of detail coz it will spoil the element of surprise on that day!

Hope everything will run smoothly till the actual wedding day.

In the meantime, my role is to get enough sleep, and pamper myself before the big day!

Predictions

Being in my current tight situation, I need to make full use of what is evolving around me. Horoscopes and predictions are forbidden in our religion, but I thought of using them as a form of motivation for me.

I've quoted this from http://tarot.com/chinese-astrology/chinese-horoscopes-2009. Funny getting chinese horoscopes from a white man.

This was what I found out:
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Yearly Predictions for the Dog

Steer clear of controversy during the Year of the Earth Ox, otherwise you could find yourself in court. A justice-lover like you will do more good working with the system than against it.

On the plus side, your financial situation will become much more secure. Your income will be steady, enabling you to pay off debts and put some money into savings. Instead of having to look for work, you'll be able to spend more time with friends and family. (Sounds good..)

Resist the urge to isolate yourself when things go wrong. Dogs have a tendency to turn within when the going gets tough, but that won't do in a sociable Ox year. Surrounding yourself with supportive people will help you withstand any pressure you experience in 2009. If you let the pressure build, you could experience terrible headaches. Practicing relaxation techniques like guided imagery, controlled breathing and meditation can alleviate this pain. (Need to remember this point)

Travel is favored this year, especially if you take a trip with someone you love, and visiting a spiritual mecca or holy city will be especially enjoyable. (yup, this is one of our plans for this year)

You are bound to make lots of friends in an Ox year. (new work place, of course i'll be making new friends right?) People are impressed by your loyalty and open-minded attitude. You may be especially drawn to rebels, since most people will cling to stodgy traditions this year. Rule-breakers and eccentrics will feel like a breath of fresh air in 2009.


Love for the Dog

It's time to put power struggles to rest; the Year of the Earth Ox emphasizes cooperation. Be more vocal about your needs. As a Dog, you have a tendency to keep your thoughts hidden. (This is so me...) Unfortunately, this trait could work against you in an ultra-practical Earth Ox year. By clearly stating your desires and concerns, you could achieve a new level of closeness with your partner.

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Surfing for wedding themes..

Some of the beautiful photos that I found on the web...Looking at lovely wedding photos can cheer me up at a time like this..

First few days

Sg Buloh Hospital:

Day 1:

Took the Guthrie Highway, and I reached the place in 40 min.

I brought the necessary documents: surat lapor diri, passport photo, latest payslip, etc to the administration office, eager to get a fresh start at my new place of work. While filling up the relevant forms, the clerk called me to the Pengarah's office. As I sat down in front of him, I expected him to give a briefing about the hospital, welcoming me to his terrority. What shocked me was that he was just looking at my surat lapor diri for about a minute, then suddenly looked up to me and said 'U nak masuk Paeds ye? Paeds dah penuh. I hantar u pegi Medical.' I could suddenly feel the blood rushing to my face. Medical? Owh man..the last time I did medical was in 2007..How could he be so mean? I practically begged him to send me to the department that I wanted..I mean, I'm really sure that's the field that I want to specialise in, and I've been doing paeds for more than a year..Why is he being so unfair?

He was giving me the numbers, saying that the medical department has less MOs compared to paeds..I finally gave in..

I was asked to report to a specialist there and she introduced me to her collegues. I was put in charge of the male medical ward.

Day 2

Took the NKVE highway today, and I reached Sg Buloh in 22 mins, driving at 120km/H. Not bad right?

The HOD instructed me to change to the female ward and I had to do rounds with the specialist. On this day, I was REALLY frustrated with the computer system. Why is not user friendly at all! My collegues were really good at it, after all, they've been using the system for the past one year or so. At one point I just felt like smashing the computer right in front of me. Personally, I feel like I'm spending more time in front of the computer, struggling to make a simple entry, and spending less time with the patients. It is very unfair.

As I was really slow in assisting my specialist to do the rounds that day, he became inpatient and he typed everything himself instead. I felt like my presence was more of a burden to him..Come on, dragging the laptop to each patient, plugging in the plug to the power source everytime we shift the laptop, in case it hibernates and the laptop hanging every now and then --it is really a test to my patience...

Not only that, since I was in charge of half the ward, I had to do referrals, arrange for urgent scans, trace blood results urgently, etc. Not like I haven't done all this before, but it is much different now as everything is computerised. I felt like a houseman all over again, doing donkey work and writing all the things that I've to do on a piece of paper, and rush to do everything by 5 o clock that day.

Day 3

I'm beginning to get the hang of the computer system, but my specialist remained sarcastic as I am still slow, and still incompetent in managing medical patients on my own, or so he says...My stress level was getting higher and higher, but I kept a smiling face at work, as I refused to show people how frustrated I am deep inside..

I came back from work, not willing to even look at the computer anymore...

Day 4

I reached the ward at 0745, determined to start my rounds. I felt like my pace is getting a bit better now, but I still could not finish all my work by 5pm..it is just so ridiculous as the amount of work that I had was much less that what I'm used to in HTAR, and yet, I tok such a long time to complete a task, just because I'm not used to the system. Sigh..How long will I take to be competent with my work?

Day 5=today

Took the day off as I've to go to Banting later to present for the mortality meeting. A presentation that I should be worried of, and yet I feel happy as I'm going back to my 'comfort zone' today afternoon..

Well, at least I've the weekend off tomorrow..something to look forward to..

Hello Sg Buloh..

It's been awhile since I last posted an entry..

Perhaps some of you may wonder why I choose not discuss about my wedding preparations here. The reason being, I am more concerned and nervous about changing my place of work compared to the wedding. Crazy right? I know.

Tomorrow will mark my first day in Hospital Sg Buloh. I've a lot of uncertainties with regards to tomorrow. Which department will I land in? How often will my calls be? How will the working environment be like? I've 1001 questions in my head right now.

At the same time, I've a wedding to plan. Thanks to my dad and aunties who are doing most of the information gathering and decision making, I do feel a sense of relief in my part.

However, there are certain aspects of the wedding that have been left for me to make the final decision:

1. Make-up artist

2. Photographer and Videographer

3. Colour theme

Dear cousins and friends, if you have any suggestions or contacts, do let me know..I really don't want to make the wrong choices...

So long, farewell..

I have been in denial for the past few days. I can't believe that I'm leaving this place..

Over the next few days I will be packing my stuff as I've to shift out from this apartment by the end of this month. I do feel sad leaving this apartment, as I enjoy having my own, comfortable space for me to live in. It's really not the same compared to staying with your parents. You get to do whatever you like, at whatever pace you're comfortable with. With this point in mind, I do wish that I'll have my own place after I begin my married life..

My plan for the next few days would be this:

Tuesday: Clinic Day. then, settle my call claims and submit the necessary forms..
Wednesday: On leave + collect revision books from a friend in HTAR
Thursday: Lorry coming to pick up my furniture..
Friday: Say my goodbyes to everybody..

Until then, I will continue enjoying every minute that I have in this cozy apartment..

*Yawn*

I'm so sleep deprived now..

Being post-call, and only managed to sleep about an hour+ last night, I forced myself to attend Redzuan's wedding today..Luckily, I managed to keep my eyes open while driving back from Banting and also during the wedding ceremony.

The calls in Banting are getting worse and worse. Who says that district posting is so lepak? I beg to differ.

Another 2 calls to go..one weekday and one weekend. And then I'm off to Sg Buloh! Just hope things will be better there. I really hope so.

Hello 2009!

I spent my new year's eve sleeping on my bed..I was post-call and hence sleeping was my top most priority compared to watching fireworks on TV..

I have decided to start a new blog today. I have hidden in from my profile coz it's not ready to be viewed by anybody just yet. The blog will be about the patients that I see at work and hope that it may benefit any doctors or aspiring doctors out there.

The blog is mainly for those in the medical line and I plan to use medical jargons to describe my patients where as this blog be maintained and will more about my life in general..

I guess that I'm being rather ambitious by having two blogs to update each time..We'll see how it'll turn out to be..