Saturday, November 21, 2009

The Secret

I've been keeping this news to myself for quite some time, as I just couldn't find the right time to tell the whole world about it. Well, it's not really a secret to my colleagues and some of my close friends, but it is indeed something which I have not shared to most people out there.

The entry below was something that I have written manually in my notebook some time ago, but I did not have the courage to post it in this blog. Tonight, I suddenly feel the urge of putting this entry to this blog. So here it goes...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At the time of writing, I'm excited about the good news, but too nervous to tell the whole world about it.

Yes, I am pregnant.

I've been having irregular menses since the wedding, probably stress related due to work or from the adjustments that I have to make post wedding. Hence, delay in menses was not something new to me. I've used up numerous UPT sets provided by my mum right after the wedding, in which it will come back as negative each time. This time around, somewhere in early September, my menses was delayed for 2 weeks and I decided to do a UPT. It was Negative, Again.

I did not experience any pregnancy symptoms after that, but since I remained amenorrheic,
Mum decided to jump straight to an ultrasound scan, skipping the whole UPT part-as i just could not bear another negative result.

You see, I have a retroverted uterus and it was a difficult ultrasound scan to perform. Mum had to press my abdomen really hard to look for the gestational sac. Then suddenly, she found it. One TINY sac in my uterus. I proceeded with the confirmation test and for the first time in my life, I had a positive UPT. I just couldn't believe my eyes when I saw that 2 lines on the stick.

How was the feeling you may ask?

I was still in denial at that time, and a positive UPT with a small 'gestational sac' was not convincing enough for me to accept that I was indeed pregnant. I needed something more convincing, like seeing my baby's heartbeat. Heck, I have seen too many patients that had a false positive UPT and they were excited for nothing, and which later they found out that the UPT was just too sensitive and repeated ultrasound scans showed an empty uterus.

However, Mum was really excited coz it was her birthday and treated the finding as her birthday present. We then had a dinner celebration that night--to celebrate the future addition to our family, Mum's birthday and my brother's belated birthday.

The only few people that I told on that day was my dad and siblings. And that was more than enough for me.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

tahniah :)

Tengku Atique said...

Kak ee! nobody told me thisss....congrats!!! SOO happy for you <333

Iron Butterfly said...

because we also just know after we read this la Tiq.

aieesha.salleh said...

:( :( :(

we also didn't know bout this Ee.......

:) :) :)
Congrats.. nanti ashraf ada laa kawan :) hehehe