Question of the day

Have you ever felt like quiting your job and just stay at home for the rest of your life instead?

I have been posing this question to myself lately, especially for past 6 months.

Funny when I had no regrets as a houseman, and yet there were many times when I ask myself why in the world I chose medicine as my career-as I embark into another phase of life-which is working as a medical officer.

I have had many experiences, the horrible ones which has formed scars in my heart. After the sometime, it will reach a point where I will just breakdown as cry as it is so unbearable.

It is just so sad when you have wake up every morning, dreading to go to work. And as the day go by, you just can't wait for the clock to strike 5pm, so that you can pick up your bag and go home. How long will life remain this way?

What keeps me going everyday? The few things that make me smile is when a patiet remembers me even if our encounter was a year back and when a sincere thank you is given when the patient's pain and suffering has been relieved by the word of advice given. How often do we doctors get that? Very rarely.

I asked the question that I have posted at the initial part of this entry to my other half yesterday. What he said was that it is a waste of expertise if I quit now. I have to at least obtain my area of specialisation and start off my own business. If I don't feel like working, at least I could get someone else to work for me. Another thing that he said was that no matter what we work as, we can never run away from problems. We just have to learn to deal with it. I guess there is some truth in his advice.

I have no idea how long I could go on feeling like this. I pray everyday and I am able to perform well in my work,to do more good than harm and always make the right decisions. Do pray for me too.