D.I.L

How much do you trust your gut feeling?

About 2 weeks back I had this strange feeling just before going to work. Like something bad was going to happen that day. While walking to work from my apartment, I suddenly decided to give my mum a call. It was 0750 in the morning. I've never called her at that hour but I did anyway without any specific reason. Mum was awake at that time and I told her about my feeling. Surprisingly she said that she was having difficulty in sleeping that night and she has been awake for the past 2 hours, thinking whether she should cancel her trip to UK on the 11th of this month. (to attend my cousin's wedding in London.) She had a feeling that she should not go. And so I told her to decide whatever that makes her happy and she cancelled her flight on that day.

Two days ago Mum gave me a shocking news that she discovered my grandma having difficulty in breathing while visiting her that day. And so she brought my grandma straight to the hospital and she was later admitted to CCU for Heart Failure. Deep inside I was thinking, "Thank God Mum didn't go to UK..Otherwise, nobody would have discovered that Opah was very sick.."

At this moment Opah is still in CCU, ventilated but haemodynamically stable. I managed to visit her while she was still conscious on Saturday, the day before she was transferred to the intensive unit. I really didn't realise that she would deteriorate so sudden and so badly..

I was driving to work today morning and my mind went adrift. Many questions popped into my brain. 'Did I spend enough time with her? Did I ever do anything wrong that might have hurt her feelings? Will I ever have the chance to speak to her ever again?'

Not only that, I was also imagining how I could handle if my own parents were as sick her. Being the eldest and a health professional, I have to be responsible for my parents' well being..If any one of my parent were to be in ill health, I need to ensure that they receive the best possible care and inform our relatives accordingly..

I hope that Opah is not suffering from any pain now..I pray hard that God will decide what's best for her..