;(

I haven't really been myself lately..

Alif's death has effected me much more that I have thought. I could just feel my tears whenever I think about it, even though it has been days after his death. Not only that I felt that I have lost a friend, but I just feel sad thinking about his parents and siblings. How it feels like having to just lost a son and brother. Sigh..

To make things worse, my brother has just left to UK and my sister will heading of to Australia next week.

Seems like everybody is leaving...

Not only that, I feel that I have to drag myself to work nowadays..

Probably coz I just feel so exhausted..

Anyway, the good thing is that I will be on leave the next 5 days. Hooray for me!

I shall spend this next few days wisely..

Goodbye, Ashburn..

I just lost a friend today. Permanently.

We have known each other for the past 20 years probably. But we got to know each other better since we were both in the same class from 1995-1999.

He was probably one of my closest guy friends. Probably because we had a few things in common. Us being neighbours, having the same group of friends, being in the same school, among other things.

Here are some of wonderful memories that I had of him:

1. I would make a point to visit his house every year for Hari Raya and we could spend hours talking, while munching on his sister's yummy homemade biscuits.

2. I remember him as being the organizer for many of our primary school reunions. He would find out when would be the best day and place for us to meet up and he would take the extra mile to inform everybody about it. Without him, probably the bond among us, ex-Raja Muda (s) won't be this strong.

3. A few weeks before my wedding reception, he volunteered to announce the great news to everybody as I was just too busy to do so. He emailed everybody that we both knew.

4. He was the official photographer for my 'majlis khatam quran' a week before my wedding day. The photos that he took turned out to be fantastic.

5. As for my wedding gift, he framed a portrait of myself: one of the best photos that he took on that day.

6. The last time that I had a chat with him was end of 2009, when he was the official photographer for my sister in law's solemnisation ceremony at Kelana Jaya.

7. The last news that I heard about him was about his engagement. I just couldn't believe it when I first heard the news from my cousin. I went to facebook to check and turned out it was true. I regretted not having to sms him at that time to congratulate him.

8. The last time I saw him was when he was in bed a few days before his death. With the amount of medications that was running through him, with him being ventilated and sedated and watching his vital signs fluctuating on his monitor, i just knew that he had a slim chance of surviving. Despite that, there was tiny voice inside me telling that there is still the slight possibility that he'll make it. Sadly he didn't..

Alif, I will treasure all our fond memories together and you will always be in my prayers.

Al -fatihah..

1/1/11

A new year, A new beginning..

What I did on new year's eve, despite it being a public holiday..

On 31st December 2010:

1. Was post-call, so was stuck in NICU until 10 am..

2. Also had one death in NICU at 9 am that morning. Sigh..thought that the baby would have survived at least for another day. I was up all night taking after the baby...

3. Reached home at about 11 am and slept until 5pm. (i didn't sleep the whole night, okay!)

4. Woke up, had lunch, played with Aniq and filled up part of Aniq's scrapbook..

5. Had dinner at 8pm, and went to Subang Parade.

6. Bought 3 sleepsuits and a cloth book for Aniq at Mothercare. Mum bought a pint of World Class Chocolate ice cream from Baskin Robbins. 31% off okay!

7. Headed home, and put Aniq to sleep at 11pm.

8. 12 MDN: Zzzzzzz

On 1st January 2011:

1. Husband came home at 3am, and had some Famous Amos cookies with him.

2. Aniq woke us up at 9.30am

3. Had breakfast-nasi ayam kukus that my father in law bought somewhere from TTDI the day before.

4. Went to Adam's wedding at the Shah Alam library with Aniq.

5. Uploaded photos from my camera to iphotos.

Here are some of the photos..

Congratulations, Adam! Am truly happy for you..

Aniq's first visit to the museum

Happy new year everybody!

'Look, I can now sit on my own!'