Sad but grateful

Last Thursday, I was saddened by a news that was relayed to me by a colleague of mine.

There is this nurse who I worked with, a very hardworking one I must say. She was heavily pregnant and her due date is merely in a few weeks time. She had been married for seven years and it was her first pregnancy. She goes for routine antenatal check up at a nearby local clinic, however, that day she decided make an appointment at the staff clinic at our hospital.

She was seen by the O+G specialist that same day, and she then found out that her baby had died in-utero. The baby was only 1.7 kg-an indicator that it had already died for the past few days. Of course she cried buckets and requested to go back to her hometown in Teluk Intan that very instant.

I also often read this blog, written by one of my ex-patients. Her daughter had been well until the age of 4 months, when she developed poor feeding and had recurrent pneumonia. Her limbs then became stiff and she went downhill from there. She was diagnosed with a very rare genetic disease, and later passed away at the age of 8 months.

The blog is dedicated to her late daughter. It is updated almost everyday, and it is about how much she misses her daughter. Any sight, smell, noise, can trigger off a memory of her late daughter. Each entry is well written, perhaps because she writes from the very bottom of her heart.

Funny.

By hearing and reading about other people’s sadness and misery, it makes us feel grateful with what we have.

Whenever I feel tired of taking care of my son, exhausted from having to pump milk at work and even at home, sacrificing my spare time and weekend, I often think of the unfortunate people around me.

It makes me think back the day that Aniq was born. The time when I saw the CTG tracing that was done that morning. The thought that I could lose him if the delivery was delayed. I could still remember how he kicked inside me, when I was in the ambulance, on the way from Selangor Medical Centre to Hospital Sungai Buloh where I had the Emergency Caesarean Section done. It was a cry of help. Asking us to take him out as soon as possible.

My CTG tracing which demonstrated Unprovoked Deceleration

Alhamdullillah. Even though he stayed in NICU for a total of nine days, and had to be intubated for one day, he turned out to be a thriving and well baby. I feel grateful every single day and there is nothing better that I could have asked for.

Dear Aniq, we love you very much and thank you for being a part of us.