Goodbye, Ashburn..

I just lost a friend today. Permanently.

We have known each other for the past 20 years probably. But we got to know each other better since we were both in the same class from 1995-1999.

He was probably one of my closest guy friends. Probably because we had a few things in common. Us being neighbours, having the same group of friends, being in the same school, among other things.

Here are some of wonderful memories that I had of him:

1. I would make a point to visit his house every year for Hari Raya and we could spend hours talking, while munching on his sister's yummy homemade biscuits.

2. I remember him as being the organizer for many of our primary school reunions. He would find out when would be the best day and place for us to meet up and he would take the extra mile to inform everybody about it. Without him, probably the bond among us, ex-Raja Muda (s) won't be this strong.

3. A few weeks before my wedding reception, he volunteered to announce the great news to everybody as I was just too busy to do so. He emailed everybody that we both knew.

4. He was the official photographer for my 'majlis khatam quran' a week before my wedding day. The photos that he took turned out to be fantastic.

5. As for my wedding gift, he framed a portrait of myself: one of the best photos that he took on that day.

6. The last time that I had a chat with him was end of 2009, when he was the official photographer for my sister in law's solemnisation ceremony at Kelana Jaya.

7. The last news that I heard about him was about his engagement. I just couldn't believe it when I first heard the news from my cousin. I went to facebook to check and turned out it was true. I regretted not having to sms him at that time to congratulate him.

8. The last time I saw him was when he was in bed a few days before his death. With the amount of medications that was running through him, with him being ventilated and sedated and watching his vital signs fluctuating on his monitor, i just knew that he had a slim chance of surviving. Despite that, there was tiny voice inside me telling that there is still the slight possibility that he'll make it. Sadly he didn't..

Alif, I will treasure all our fond memories together and you will always be in my prayers.

Al -fatihah..

1/1/11

A new year, A new beginning..

What I did on new year's eve, despite it being a public holiday..

On 31st December 2010:

1. Was post-call, so was stuck in NICU until 10 am..

2. Also had one death in NICU at 9 am that morning. Sigh..thought that the baby would have survived at least for another day. I was up all night taking after the baby...

3. Reached home at about 11 am and slept until 5pm. (i didn't sleep the whole night, okay!)

4. Woke up, had lunch, played with Aniq and filled up part of Aniq's scrapbook..

5. Had dinner at 8pm, and went to Subang Parade.

6. Bought 3 sleepsuits and a cloth book for Aniq at Mothercare. Mum bought a pint of World Class Chocolate ice cream from Baskin Robbins. 31% off okay!

7. Headed home, and put Aniq to sleep at 11pm.

8. 12 MDN: Zzzzzzz

On 1st January 2011:

1. Husband came home at 3am, and had some Famous Amos cookies with him.

2. Aniq woke us up at 9.30am

3. Had breakfast-nasi ayam kukus that my father in law bought somewhere from TTDI the day before.

4. Went to Adam's wedding at the Shah Alam library with Aniq.

5. Uploaded photos from my camera to iphotos.

Here are some of the photos..

Congratulations, Adam! Am truly happy for you..

Aniq's first visit to the museum

Happy new year everybody!

'Look, I can now sit on my own!'

HSB Book of Records

This can happen if you have undiagnosed diabetes in pregnancy.

The largest baby ever born at my hospital.

weighing 5.7kg.

Everybody was busy snapping photos with him the day he was born..

Can you just imagine how hard it was to get a intravenous access for him?

As expected, he was hypoglycaemic at Day 1 of life.

I just can't imagine him being in my uterus..

from yahoomail to blogspot

am now making a new entry from my email. if this works, I could post entries from work! haha. not like I've the time to do it anyway.

Hello MacBook

I've been meaning to buy a new laptop for myself, and my dream finally came true when i got a MacBook Air as a gift from my dad! Cool eh?

At the moment, am still learning how to use a Mac. After all, I've been using Microsoft all my life.

Some of the things that I love about my new gadget:

1. How thin and light it is: only 1.07kg.

2. How sleek it looks

3. How beautiful my photos turn out to be when I view it on iPhoto

I have a lot more to learn, and am still used to the usual shortcuts that work on Microsoft but not on a Mac. For example:

1. Control+N to open a new window when browsing on Explorer, but instead, need to press the Command key + N

2. Control + arrow to move to the next word when typing, but on Mac, it will jump straight to the end of the sentence.

etc..

Am sure I will get used to all this soon. From what I've heard, once you have started to use a Mac, you will never go back..

Now, I need to install Microsoft Office for Mac on my MacBook..

Sad but grateful

Last Thursday, I was saddened by a news that was relayed to me by a colleague of mine.

There is this nurse who I worked with, a very hardworking one I must say. She was heavily pregnant and her due date is merely in a few weeks time. She had been married for seven years and it was her first pregnancy. She goes for routine antenatal check up at a nearby local clinic, however, that day she decided make an appointment at the staff clinic at our hospital.

She was seen by the O+G specialist that same day, and she then found out that her baby had died in-utero. The baby was only 1.7 kg-an indicator that it had already died for the past few days. Of course she cried buckets and requested to go back to her hometown in Teluk Intan that very instant.

I also often read this blog, written by one of my ex-patients. Her daughter had been well until the age of 4 months, when she developed poor feeding and had recurrent pneumonia. Her limbs then became stiff and she went downhill from there. She was diagnosed with a very rare genetic disease, and later passed away at the age of 8 months.

The blog is dedicated to her late daughter. It is updated almost everyday, and it is about how much she misses her daughter. Any sight, smell, noise, can trigger off a memory of her late daughter. Each entry is well written, perhaps because she writes from the very bottom of her heart.

Funny.

By hearing and reading about other people’s sadness and misery, it makes us feel grateful with what we have.

Whenever I feel tired of taking care of my son, exhausted from having to pump milk at work and even at home, sacrificing my spare time and weekend, I often think of the unfortunate people around me.

It makes me think back the day that Aniq was born. The time when I saw the CTG tracing that was done that morning. The thought that I could lose him if the delivery was delayed. I could still remember how he kicked inside me, when I was in the ambulance, on the way from Selangor Medical Centre to Hospital Sungai Buloh where I had the Emergency Caesarean Section done. It was a cry of help. Asking us to take him out as soon as possible.

My CTG tracing which demonstrated Unprovoked Deceleration

Alhamdullillah. Even though he stayed in NICU for a total of nine days, and had to be intubated for one day, he turned out to be a thriving and well baby. I feel grateful every single day and there is nothing better that I could have asked for.

Dear Aniq, we love you very much and thank you for being a part of us.

Latest developmental milestones

Aniq's chronological age: 7 months

Corrected age: 6 months in one weeks time

It's just fascinating to watch my son grow.

Latest developments:

Growth:

His weight, length and head circumference is now at par with babies his age, and I couldn't be happier.

He is now wearing medium sized pampers.

Diet:

He takes in whatever food that is given to him. He can now take:

Carbo: Rice

Protein: chicken, salmon, ikan bilis

Fruits: bananas, pears, apples

Vege: carrots, pumpkin, cauliflower, brocolli, and the latest addition, peria!

At the moment, he is only allergic to potatoes..he'll develop a rash around his mouth which will disappear after a few days. We tried to feeding him with potatoes again today, and he developed the rash again..

Aniq eating pureed apples..

He also needs a bottle of milk after each meal, hence I need to remain motivated to pump milk at work..

Development:

He can now turn from prone to supine and supine to prone.

He's got good head control and able to reach out for toys.

Thanks Ninna for the toy. He absolutely loves it! I bring it whenever we travel.

He still enjoys looking at himself on the mirror.

No stranger anxiety: enjoys interacting with anybody!

Enjoys reading his story book and can even flip pages! (sort of)

Can also Skype! (right, Ku Yea?)

Always curious with his surroundings

Only sleeps 15 min to half an hour each time during the day

Sleeps at 10pm every night, and still wakes up at least twice every night

Lastly, needs to have his nose pressed against a pillow whenever he sleeps..